You Can Do Hard Things.
Along the indescribable journey I have been on in life so far, one of the greatest realisations I came to just when I needed the confidence boost the most was that I can do hard things. That when it gets tough, I can choose to rise up and try to find the strength I have built within. Anyone can build that strength. It doesn't require being forced into discomfort like I was, but can come from choosing to enter states of discomfort and find a way through. My philosophy in how to go about continuing to build strength in my life became that the harder it is, the more worthwhile the lesson; and that if I fear it, I have to do it. That doesn't mean being self detrimental. Some things we fear for a very good reason, so I'm not about go to walk a tightrope between two high rises just because I fear it. But if I hear a voice within me saying I want to do something, and the only thing stopping me is fear, that is my cue to go for it with everything I have.
That is why I ran my first marathon, it was damn scary and hard. Why I started skydiving, I feared heights but loved flying. Why I went off as a single 21 year old female traveller to Kenya for a month. That is also why I chase big dreams and put myself out there when I do. Because like many, I have always feared going all in on something and feared judgement from others. The big question always comes - If I give this my all, and that isn't enough, what do I do then? Now I know. Adapt and keep trying. I also know that the more in touch with myself I am and the more I love my own decisions, the less I need others to love them, or even care about them.
I have learned to turn this philosophy the other way around as well. It is not always about bigger, better, faster, stronger. Feeling things in the moment is scary and hard. Stopping in the middle of something you told others you would complete because it no longer feels good to you is hard. Doing less, so you can be more, is hard. When I first started with my coach I wanted to run longer and longer, but he wanted me to run shorter and go faster. That scared me, so I did it, and learned a hell of a lot in doing so. Same goes for rest days, when the doubts of 'am I doing enough?' kick in. If I fear resting that day, I do it, no matter how uncomfortable that is. When I get right down to the nitty gritty, I have always feared life. Therefore, by my own rules, I am going to live it to its full.
Currently I am giving everything I have to two equal passions. My studies, and my running. Sometimes I am more in one than the other, but overall it balances out. Balance is not a state of being to me, but a state of searching that doesn't require everything being equal. It is making constant adjustments to stay on track, jumping to a different track if a better one presents, and going all in when something means a lot to me in that moment. Because it wasn't until going all in, and then either learning from the failure or proving my doubts wrong through the success, that I learned either outcome is still forward progress. I am on the scary, incredible, rewarding and painful journey of trying to find out what I am truly capable of in the areas that make my heart and soul feel most alive. Mistakes and successes abound, but having seen the true strength of the human spirit in those around me, I trust that by going on these journeys, anyone can find the true strength that lies within them. I never go out on a limb to prove how strong I am. I have not much to offer there as it doesn't help anyone. I do want to prove how strong we all are, as equal human beings with equal capabilities in our own areas and paths; no matter where life has taken us in that path. Be it mental illness, physical illness, trauma, wrong doings or just living life very sheltered and wanting more, our past does not dictate our future.
Do the hard thing that you fear or don't think you can. Best case scenario you learn you are more capable than you thought, worst case scenario you learn something about and area of life or yourself that you can improve on. Either way, it's a forward step.
Still We Rise.